No one deserves mental or physical abuse, and if you, or someone you know is a victim, it is very important to get out of that relationship now! Of course, the above is easier said than done, however, there are some effective ways to get out of an abusive relationship, and today’s post will show you how.
Get real and know this is not love…
Yes, this is a very valid reason for most people to stay and suffer in an abusive relationship. This illusion of being in love with the abuser breaks one physically and emotionally. Remember, you can never justify love with abuse. If this is the case, it is crucial for you to immediately get out of the abusive relationship now.
Remember these key points-
1. Make an exit plan
You need to work on an exit plan for leaving. Think of a safe place you would go to in a rush. A friend or a family member might be ready to take you in a hurry. In case you do not have a friend or a family member to help you in such a crisis, go online and make a list of the domestic abuse shelters in your area. When you have a plan in place, you can act without panic.
Make sure you keep two plans in place- one that will give you time, and the other in case you need to leave at a moment’s notice. Also hide a copy of your car key in case your abuser stops your access to it, or memorize the number of any taxi service to help you get to your safe place at the earliest. If you have kids and think they will be in danger with the abuser, leave with them.
2. Make a list of domestic violence helplines and counselling centers
No one is happy and in the right frame of mind when abused. Your emotions are mixed and they run high. In case, there is a severe case of physical abuse, your self-esteem is shattered and will be at its lowest point. However, you still need to get up and fight back. The first step in doing the above is to make a list of domestic violence helplines and counselling centers. Seek help and guidance from them- remember in this journey, you are not alone. Call 911 or the emergency helpline number of your country for immediate help, if the need arises.
3. Never leave a trail of clues
Make sure you do not update a driver’s license or forward any bills with your new address. This will make it easy for the abuser to track you down again. Take the help of a lawyer and get a restraining order for you and your kids, if you have any. This will keep the abuser away from you and them physically. Keep the number of the domestic violence helpline of the new place you have shifted to handy, in case your abuser turns up after successfully tracking you down.
4. Erase your social media and digital footprint
Abusers generally will stalk and keep track of your social media activity, emails and other digital information that is easily accessible to them. Most of the time, the main accounts are in their names, and so using them for your own line of communication is a strict “no” or else the abuser will track you down and make your life miserable again.
5. Make professional allies
You need to contact a good therapist, lawyer and family members who will be a part of your escape plan. With a support group, you are able to get valuable guidance, and plan your next steps with caution. In this way, you can protect yourself and the kids from the abuser.
Remember, when you leave to get out of an abusive relationship, always plan a safe time. Keep your whereabouts secret, and get your lawyer to file the court restraining order as soon as possible. Stop all contact with the abuser, and remember to call 911 if you face threats to your life and kids.
