Nearly most of you have worked for a narcissistic boss or have faced one at some point of your life. It can really be challenging mentally and emotionally to be around a person who is flagrantly self-admiring, self-absorbed, self-obsessed and self-centred. A narcissist boss is an individual who will only work hard when others are watching only to claim credit later and always assign the blame to you when things go wrong.
Today’s post will look into the common traits of a narcissist boss and simple yet powerful ways to handle such a person when you face one. Read on to know how-
Traits Of A Narcissist Boss
Every narcissist boss thinks about ways to achieve influence, power and success. Due to this, your boss will have an enormous tendency to lie and exaggerate the truth to get a feeling of self-importance. However, the biggest issue with your narcissistic boss is they never feel they are the problem. They will always have some scrape-goats or randomly choose employees to tag the blame on to when things go wrong.
Now, in case, you face a narcissistic boss daily, you have two choices- quit the job or stay with the job and deal with the boss. If you decide to stay with your boss, remember, you can never change the attitude of your boss however, you can change the way, you react and respond to the situation whenever your boss has something to say.
Get Ready To Face The Narcissist Boss
Let us take a look at the following 10 power moves you can take when it comes to handling difficult people in office–
1. Understand your boss
Face the truth that you cannot change your boss and it will not be easy for you to work with them. Get ready to hear the following from your boss when things go wrong-
- You deserved it
- It is not my fault
- That did not happen, you are responsible
- This is no big deal, fix it, and other similar phrases.
Watch out for these phrases when you are dealing with a new boss- this means he/she is a narcissist.
2. Respond and do not react
Your narcissistic boss thrives on importance and attention. Do not make the mistake of putting the spotlight on their mistakes. Learn to respond without a reaction. If you do feel the urge to react, just hold your words for a second or step away from the scene to gain control over your anger.
3. Do not make them get under your skin
Narcissistic bosses look for someone they can control and over power over. They will regularly put you to shame, goad, humiliate, call you out and belittle you. It is here you need to use the power of emotional intelligence to manage your actions and thoughts. Note, any cruel words or behavior reflect badly on your boss, not you.
4. Stop feeding the beast
Your narcissistic boss has the constant urge to be admired by others. Bad behaviour comes from a deep sense of insecurity. Your narcissistic boss will display this a lot. Remember, the more you feed this bad behaviour, the worse it gets. A narcissistic boss will always surround themselves with two types of people- one who bites their tongues and one who enables them to manipulate them.
5. Never empower those who are undeserving
Your boss holds a high degree of power primarily because of the designation, he/she holds. However, everyone knows there are no leaders without followers. Do not follow someone you do not trust or admire. Stick to your job with respect, integrity and honor.
6. Fact-check details always
Every narcissist will portray themselves as a victim who is always innocent. The same holds true for your boss too. When faced with the truth, they are ready to face it with a lie or a half-truth. If you deal with a narcissistic boss, be prepared and ready to do a lot of checking up.
7. Never argue
The final thing you should do with a narcissistic boss is to argue. Everything you do and say will always be held against you. Never argue or engage them in fights- just go ahead and make them invisible. Note, it is always hard for you to argue with someone who constantly distorts the truth and your boss in this case, is no exception.
8. Stay away from provocation
Narcissists have the tendency to provoke people and blame them for the fight. They will make the whole situation seem it is your fault. The key here is not to be manipulated or provoked so be smart.
9. Place focus on what is important
Reconnect with your purpose as this is vital for your peace of mind when you are dealing with a narcissistic boss. Everything will always revolve around them so there is constant pull and play at rules. This makes you frustrated and angry. The solution is to take one step back and focus on the goal over your emotions.
10. Set clear boundaries
Set boundaries that are healthy. Always know what you can accept and what you should not accept. They are an integral part of self-care and a guideline to allow you to be healthy, normal and sane.
Keep these easy tips in mind when you are handling your narcissistic boss on an everyday basis. It is daunting however, if you really want to remain in the job, practice will make you perfect. Moreover, even if you quit the job, there is no guarantee you will not encounter another like-minded boss in future. These tips will come in handy and you will be able to focus better on the tasks at hand without worries-all the best!
