There are times when a husband wants to control a wife financially and the cause could be because of a number of reasons. Today’s post will look into the top reasons that makes a husband financially want to control a wife and what one can do about this situation to prevent the marriage from falling apart or becoming toxic.
Top Reasons Why Husband Wants To Control Wife
If you are married to a man who constantly wants to control you financially, the following are the top signs of an oppressive husband.
1. Insecurity
In some societies, especially patriarchal communities, the man is given the higher pedestal in the family. Here, the woman is meant to look after the home, in-laws, and children. Since the patriarch is the head of the house, everyone needs to obey to what he says. Now, your husband might be a product of a patriarchal family and with you being financially independent, this threatens his position in the relationship as a man. This is why he wants to control you financially out of his security as a man in society. He wants to control your money so that you obey his wishes and he has the final say in everything you or your kids do. In such a case, sitting down and talking with your spouse will help. Explain to him how you feel and respectfully handle this situation together.
2. You are an over spender
This is where childhood experiences come into play. For instance, if you were born in abundance and never had to worry about money, it is natural for you to overspend. However, if your husband had a childhood with financial struggles, there is a high possibility that he will think twice about the money spent. He may want to control you financially because of your spending addiction. In such a case, if you fail to control your overspending habits, it is prudent to allow your husband to take care of the money matters so that you can save and have a secure financial future.
3. Loans to pay
If you both have loans to pay and your husband is the better money manager, he might want to control your finances as well. Remember, both of you are a team and if the loans you have taken are joint loans, both of you must take steps to pay them back. Once the re-payment of these loans are over, you can regain control of your finances independently. Talk to your spouse so that an arrangement can be made in this direction and you both become debt-free soon.
4. Toxic or abusive spouse
If you are married to a man who is an abusive and a toxic partner who refuses to go out and work, he will forcefully control your finances to breed his bad habits like drinking, gambling, etc. In such a case, never put up with such behaviour and immediately walk out with your kids. Since you are financially independent, you should never tolerate the presence of such a man in your life or your kids. Many women believe that for the sake of the kids you must stay in the relationship however what you fail to realize is you are exposing them to abuse, insult, and domestic abuse. They will grow up with such memories in their minds as an adult and might have emotional issues when it comes to dealing with their own relationships later on in life.
5. Erratic investments that incur frequent losses
In such a case, your husband might be into business or invests erratically in asset classes that incur frequent losses. In such a case, if might want to control you financially. To curb this problem, seek the help of an experienced investment and financial consultant for guidance. In this way, you can regain control of your finances, and your husband earning the desired returns from the investments he makes.
In all of these scenarios, you need to take appropriate steps to regain your financial independence and stay happy with your life too. Talking to your spouse helps, and if you have a toxic husband, it is wise to divorce such a man and live with dignity. If you have an overspending habit, rectify it first and nurture good financial spending habits to save and build wealth over time successfully. It’s hight time to reconsider should husband control wife in today’s age?
