How Being Compliant And A People Pleaser Destroys Relationships?

People Pleaser

Do you like being a people pleaser? You believe that if you do not do what others want, they would not need you. In some people, it is so deeply rooted that they forget about themselves at home and at work. They work towards being indispensable for others little realizing they are causing immense damage not only to their relationship but to their whole self-esteem! Being a people pleaser is a red flag in a relationship!

Contrary to what most people think, you can cause significant damage to your relationship by trying to be a people pleaser. In fact, over-giving is overwhelming and makes one exhausted. Relationships become one-sided and the end result is resentment. Think about it for once, are you a people pleaser and if yes, how do you feel being over-generous when it comes to time and other deeds that steal yourself away from you? 

Imbalance in relationships 

Being a people pleaser causes immense imbalance in relationships. Most of the time there is a misalignment when it comes to the reciprocity of love, care, and other emotions essential for a healthy relationship. The simple question of “who are you and what do you want?” is replaced by the needs of others and the drive to please them so they you can feel appreciated and valued in their life.

Addressing your fears 

Do you know that an overly dependent relationship is a way to get over unresolved issues and pain that has taken place in the past? Take a minute to introspect, how many relationships have you been in till date, how are your relationships at home with others, do you feel insecure, or does pleasing people make you feel safe? These are just some of the questions to ask yourself when you quietly introspect and reflect. 

Do you know that pleasing people can be like a shield in any relationship? You please people even if you are not given love and care in return. The desperate need to be accepted and secure causes you to wreck your self-esteem in the relationship and send it into jeopardy even further. It is time for you to wake up from this negative slumber and face your worries to overcome them gradually and start seeing relationships from a new perspective!

Common concerns you might harbour 

If you are a people pleaser, the following are some of the common concerns you might nurture-

  • If you choose saying no if things do not work for you, will people become upset?
  • If you voice any opinion that disagrees with others, would you be disliked or rejected? 
  • If you say yes to you, will your life improve and is it worth it?
  • When you say no to your partner’s wishes or request, will the relationship end? 
  • Would the other person think that you didn’t care if you do not heed to their wishes, needs or requests? 

See, some relationships will end but, in the process, you are creating space for new healthier ones- think about that!

Pave the way for a real relationship 

When you stop being a people pleaser, you actually become energized and happier. Inner peace blossoms and new opportunities come your way. It is okay for you to say no. However, saying no does not mean you surrender your commitments. 

Payoffs of being self-reliant

  • You create space for people who are independent, creative, and open-minded
  • You discover those who actually care for you and challenge you to become a better person
  • You become true to yourself and your needs.

In short, you open a brand- new door to a happier, peaceful, and meaningful life with success!

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