Do you know that retaining your independence and individuality after marriage will only make the bond between you and your spouse stronger? Seems like a surprise? Couple bonding like cooking together, watching Netflix on the couch or travelling together is great, however this does not mean that both of you have to do “everything” together. Independence in your marriage gives you space and it will help the relationship to grow and blossom into a beautiful one over time.
Why is independence important?
Most couples do not speak about the most important element of a successful marriage- being strong together! It takes effort from both the spouses to build this bond of togetherness and trust. However, this does not mean both of you get “too bonded” that you forsake the things you loved doing as an individual before getting married. There may be hobbies, friends, family, places or other things that brought you joy as an individual back in the past. Co-dependence is healthy for any relationship, but keeping the correct balance between independence and co-dependence with your partner will go the extra mile in making your marriage a rock-solid one!
Now, are you wondering how to kickstart the task? Given below are the top 5 ways to do gain back independence in your marriage-
1. Rediscover your lost hobbies
Our passions and hobbies define us, so if you no longer do something you really loved or enjoyed in the past, get back to it now! It can be as simple as drinking a warm cup of coffee at the café in peace, travelling solo, or just practicing yoga or exercising in the park along. These are just some things you can always go back to, even if you are a mother with a young child.
2. Get out and breathe
Independence also means getting the mental space you need to breathe. Running the home responsibilities, and carrying out mundane chores can take a toll on your mental space if you are inside the home every day. Take some time to go out and allow the fresh air to seep into your system. Nature walks are excellent if you live near parks or places with lush green spaces around. Even a walk around the neighbourhood can refresh your senses- the key is to get out of the house for some fresh air!
3. Reconnect with your old buddies
Yes, couple socializing has replaced your old friendships, so it is now time for you to break it. Women especially find it hard to retain their old friendships, so it is now time for you to call them up and meet. You can hang out at a coffee shop or have a cocktail party. No matter how much you love your spouse, they should not be “everything”. It is time for you to meet your old friends and take some pressure off by laughing and remembering the good old days with them.
4. Solo trips
This point might come as a shock, but wait- here I did not mean you take a 10- day leave and fly to Bali! Even a day at the beach can make you feel rejuvenated and fresh. If you feel drained with domestic chores, roles, and responsibilities, try hopping to the beach or go for a long drive alone to places that are away from the maddening crowds of the city for mental space and clarity.
5. Make “solo evening or nights” special
This works amazingly well when your better half is out with friends or on work. You can pamper yourself at home like having a nice warm aroma oil bath, reading a book with a cup of tea or coffee, or just ordering your favorite take- out and watch a movie. Your night alone looks different but once you get used to it, you sure will crave for it more!
Independence brings you joy and happiness, so why not incorporate it in your marriage. Both of you can value each other more when you give space to one another. The mutual love and respect grows making you a power-couple inspiring those all around you successfully!
Well, the truth is you do not have to give up the things you used to do before marriage. If you are independent in your marriage, you can retain its spark, and build memories of a happy marriage together.